it's quitting time...

This morning I woke up - up 2ish pounds from last week, I was craving some donuts, and just plain did NOT feel like pushing myself at the pool.  I got half of my big swim done when it was time for aerobics, so I paused.  After aerobics, I went to start my swim... and stopped - thought very seriously about getting out of the pool and 'finishing it tomorrow'.  I wanted so hard to quit.  I didn't. I finished my swim (with a bathroom break - and the life guards kicking me out with 1 lap left... can you believe that, wouldn't let me finish 1 lap!)

Then I went to HEB to get my snacks for the day.  I wanted so bad to get the bag of M&M's, donuts, chips and other yummo snacks.  I wanted to quit dieting - its not moving quickly anyway.  I didn't.  I grabbed 2 plums, 2 bananas and some carrot strings for snacks. (half is saved for tomorrow) I got a thing of watermelon for breakfast - and didn't even touch my cereal.

Lunch: Chic-fil-a... I wanted a chicken sandwich & fries.  I wanted the banana pudding shake.  I wanted the oreo shake.  I wanted to quit worrying about food.  I didn't.  I got a grilled chicken salad (I thought that wasn't going to be enough for my hungry self, so I got nuggets too) For 440 calories, I was STUFFED ~ and felt good about myself.  For 440 calories, I could have had most of my sandwich, OR half of the fries, OR a small shake.  I'm glad I didn't quit.


I'm not losing weight like I want to lose weight.  I'm about to come upon another goal not met.  I'm very frustrated with the numbers not looking any better.  I went shopping this weekend and didn't go down a size... (though i should start sitting for a few minutes when I try on pants/shorts because I probably could have gone down a bit). I still have HUGE boobs... but in my new bras - perky.

It has been 2 months since my routine started... I ALWAYS lose 40 pounds in 2 months.  I ALWAYS can run a mile after 2 months.  I ALWAYS am 2-3 sizes smaller after 2 months.  I ALWAYS QUIT AFTER 2 MONTHS. Nothing this time around has worked out how it "usually" does.  Maybe that means this wont be the "usual" down 40 - up 60.  Maybe this time will be down for good and bye bye up.  Maybe this time... I will not quit.

I will take my walk tonight, and get up in the morning.  I will drink 2-4 glasses of water with my dinner.  I Will Not Quit.