..5.5

So, I have gone through this week with very little weight loss... a lot of fluctuation in the same numbers... :( up .3 down .2 up .5 down .6... just up and down... Yesterday was a little lower, hit the 5... 27 lbs so far! Yesterday I went to step class! I love it, want to do that one regularly! (even though I look ridiculous flaring around -- found out that is the real reason there aren't fat cheer leaders, that much arm flaring is not cute!!) But, then we played Disc Golf again.. lovin it!!! It was disheartening today when my number was the EXACT same... it was positive though after lunch when it was still Exactly the same..

The last day of school was yesterday, and today I had a training... So tomorrow will start goal 1800! I don't know if I can do it, but I think it will be fun to try!!

A friend of mine (whom I tried out for the biggest loser with) asked me what was different this time... followed by a "I'm proud of you and impressed, but what made it this time?" I could not answer in any other way than "I was ready" The coolest part was her head nod of.. yeah you were.

Losing weight is not easy. Even though it is all a simple mathematical equation: BURN MORE CALORIES THAN YOU TAKE IN! But, it is much more than that for people who have struggled with it for a while. Eating is a lifestyle. Eating is a coping mechanism. Eating is the only thing you can do, no matter what... I can eat when its cold, i can eat when its raining, i can eat when i'm sad, I can eat when i'm happy, I eat with friends, I eat alone, I eat watching tv, I eat while im bowling.. I eat... Then you have the hard part... it is easy to stop eating all the time, it really is. The hard part is announcing to the world "I KNOW I AM FAT, I AM GOING TO EAT A SALAD ANYWAY!!' or "I KNOW I AM FAT, I AM TRYING TO FIX THAT, I KNOW IT IS NOT CUTE SEEING ME FLOP AROUND ON THE SIDE WALK (others call that running) BUT I NEED TO FIX IT!! The day that you are ready to do that, to ignore everyones looks, to ignore everyone making remarks... to ignore everyone saying "you look great" -- that is the day that you begin. Don't make it a Monday, those diets never work... oh, I started on a Monday -- ha ha, but I found my mind set on a Sunday!

I don't know all the answers, nor will I pretend to, but I do know that this is the time, I know that this is the last time you will see me obese (unless I see you tomorrow)