Good Day

So i jumped on the Wii Fit this morning -- down to **8!!! Which was down a little over 2 from yesterday - difference is, I drank water, I ate little bits of food all day long, and I ate 3 good meals. Back to what works!! Today I had 3 eggs for breakfast with cantaloupe then apple and 2 oranges for snack, chicken and veggies for lunch, then a thing of fruit snacks, then a baked potato and salad for dinner! Then we went for a good walk! I ran at the end and it felt great!!!! I am still not at my "running weight" but oh did it feel good! I haven't had that release in YEARS...

**sappy to come**

I am not a person who (soberly) dwells on the death of others. I mourn and move on, but when i run, I can't help it. For those who don't know about Elisa I'll explain (if you do, move to the end of this section) == I decided my senior year at Marshall that I wanted to run cross country so I could be in better shape for basketball and softball. I convinced a friend of mine, Elisa, to run it with me. The summer before that year, her and I met up at the high school to work out many times a week. We ran together near the end of summer for the first time. She was much faster, skinnier, and in way better shape than I was, and I knew it was difficult for her to stay back with me, but she did. Before this point, I HATED to run. So, we took off. Marshall is surrounded by 2 loops, a single mile and a 1.5 mile -- of course we did the small loop. I was tired by the first turn, she could tell (I am and was way too proud to admit it, but she could tell) and she said, just make it to the stop sign... I did. She said make it to that mail box, I did. She said make it to the stop sign... I did. She said make it to the turn... I did. She said make it to the parking lot... I did. She said make it to the softball field... I did. She said make it to the stop sign... I did. She said make it to the stop sign... I did. She said make it through this turn, i did... She said make it to the end... I did. The point of that dramatic long eventful mile (I know it was just a mile right) was, she pushed me to make each little goal. She told me throughout to look past that point of being tired and make the next small goal. Cross country practice was in the morning, so was band - and she was in band, so she went to practice an hour earlier than everyone else. The day I knew (more than normal) that she was my guardian angel was the day she didn't have band. She ran her normal 5:00 practice - which that day was a 45 min. run - then she stayed and ran with me. Pushing me to run the whole thing as hard as I could. We ran through the mud, we ran under some water (it had rained earlier) and took some "short cuts" to get to new roads we hadn't ever run on before... she showed me running was fun. She showed me I could do it. I finished XC season, had a descent basketball year and a great softball year and headed off to TLU. Most people think this story ends in high school.. sadly I wish it did. 2 years later, while at Elisa's district cross country meet (which she won and went to state eventually) she told me she was thinking about going to TLU. Of course I jumped at that and began to persuade! So a few months later, I was sitting at a marshall basketball game when her mom asked to talk to me about TLU. I was close with the cross country coach at TLU because she was our softball coach's best friend. Mrs. Suarez asked me if TLU was safe, if the team was worth going for... I said oh yes, the team is worth dying for, and I would be there to make sure Elisa was ok and I would be there to keep her safe and in the right crowed. So she came.. She came Elisa was with me at TLU!!! I was going to even run cross country again! (too bad I had knee surgery and coach McCaughey said no, but her and I still worked out together on occasion) We didn't hang out every day, but our paths crossed all the time and I was at every one of her meets, and she was at our games - great friend! She got 2nd place in conference, and 12th in regionals as a freshman. Outstanding!! She had ankle surgery after her last meet and missed track to rehabilitate it. She made it back for the 3rd to last cross country meet her sophomore year (my senior) and got 6th! The 2nd to last meet.. 3rd place. And the 2 weeks from that meet to conference she spent running and training harder than anyone I've ever seen. Then, on the Sunday (6 days from conference) she decided to on a new route. The weather was supposed to turn ugly, so she went out for her run a little bit earlier than normal. She was on the last 500 yards, the clouds turned to drizzle, and an old man driving an old white truck lost control and hit her. Just her, not the girl running with her, not the fences near by, not the tree line on the side of the road he was actually on. Just her. She died almost instantly (I like to believe) October 24th, 2004... Yeah, the worst Sunday ever. -- point to the long story, I have tried, every year, every time I feel the need to really do something about my size - to run. I would do one day, then break down (not physically, not emotionally, but something in me breaks my motivation) I can't explain it, and I hate it. I can hear her talking to me, pushing me.. and I know she would be very disappointed in me if she saw how big I got. How lazy I got. Today, for the first time since that day, I took big steps, I felt the release of life with every step... I felt her - without feeling that emptiness. It is time.. It is time. === sappy over

down 24... 9 more till I will run daily... My Wii goal is 22 lbs this month... down 3 so far... Yep Great day!